Sunday, February 16, 2014

because you've asked


my dream job:

taking care of farm animals, while writing free lance satire, holding babies, doodling, visiting with elderly and baking cookies. scouring thrift shops for re purposed items and preforming in community theater production of fiddler on the roof. watering plants and braiding horse manes whilst dressed up in a costume making a funny video. 

i haven't seen anything like this yet, but i've yet to check craigslist. 

Friday, February 14, 2014

48 bottles banished to the basement


my friend is starting a clipart bizniz, and i have never been more jealous. if only i could start a paint  program/ paste peoples heads on other peoples bodies biz. I'D BE RICH.

i'm applying for my dream job currently. and by applying, i mean thinking about applying and second guessing my abilities.

sometimes i pride myself for only getting crushes on celebrities over 50 and absolute weirdos, but i'm pretty sure i have a crush on someone who is neither of the two. this crush is so extreme that all fine motor skills escaped me when he entered a 2 foot radius. my friend told me my eyes bulged and i made a yelping noise. much better than the eye swolleness and crying sounds i would make about that last crush. ( i'll tell you all about the futile friendzone failure next time, laydeez).

i went rollerskating recently. twerking while skating is not just a myth. it exists.

my dad made our dog a bed out of a cardboard produce box and foam. true life: my dad is frugal and inventive. he also "won" 48 bottles of poise feminine wash, but that's a story for another day.