In memoriam/there is still time

Sister christer just discovered that our beloved and celebrated xanga site was no longer accessible. Rather than paying the $48/month fee for access, she downloaded the content and was able to preserve a national treasure. To honor days gone by and my first attempts at humorous writing, I leave with you one of my favorite pieces. Not my best work, but I fear it could be slightly prophetic.

SkooterGrrlz Wed, 06 Jul 2005 02:21:43 -04:00 to our future husbands:

my beloved, i think of often. i know it sounds crazy, but i picture your butt crack as you squat down to pick up your doughnut. I can hear your laugh resounding in my ear, like a nasty congested dog. the way your burly woodchooper fingers gently try to make their way through my snarly, unwashed hair just makes me tingle in anticipation. my pulse races and my palms sweat at just the thought of us "becomming one." Ive been with lots of guys, but there always seems to be somthing...missing. I look forward to the day when we have Movie cuddle nights, watching those romantic old black and white films. (i appologize in advance for the "accidental popcorn fight i will start) I long to eat our cereal together everymorning (i like cornflakes, how about you?) Ive waited for the guy who calls me stupid, instead of pretty, and who honestly tells me i look fat in my jeans...and i am so happy ive waited. Cause what we will experiance, will be far greater than any instant gratification i have ever known. ever. maybe i know you. maybe i dont. maybe we're friends. maybe we have yet to cross paths. maybe we're related. all i know, is that i love you, whoever you are. with all my heart, soul, and most importantly, my body. i will rejoice in the day you decide my body is a wonderland. and i too will be your alice, and you will be my wonderland. i picture what our children will look like. yes, probally nasty...but we will love them anyways. in the perfect love we have discovered between us. please wait for me. cause im waitying. waiting for you darling. wait for me to....cause i wait for you.( thanks rebecaka st. james)
all my love, your future wife.
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momzRcute

some boots were NOT meant for walking. specifically, uggs. i am still feeling the burn from an unexpected 2 mile brisk "walk" yesterday. beyond the extreme calf fatigue, i also looked like i was having an allergic reaction to something. the bright side? my physical activity is done for the month!

just kidding. i am also participating in the "turkey trot" this thanksgiving. at first i was hesitant, but then my mom told my my dog was doing it too. i'll do anything to be with my dog.

i'm not quite certain what trotting is, but i have a feeling i won't like it. maybe instead of engaging my body, i will engage my brain and draft a master plan for a dog sleigh for my dog to drag me in behind his energetic little body. that is, if my dad hasn't already.

my friend just sent me a text simply saying "omg". i knew that meant he had just seen catching fire. i asked him if i'm going to die when i see it. he said "maybe" just thought i should let someone know what has happened if i don't resurface monday afternoon. someone just make sure to shoot off a canon and raise three fingers for me.

today i had about a ten minute conversation with a man named cliff. that's my grandpa's name...but this man talked to me more than my grandpa ever has. i'm not being snarky, just truthful. anyways, cliff was a real weirdo, but i liked him. he told me if i ever get married and have children to take a train ride from redwing to st.paul. he told me where i could ballroom dance or listen to "authentic blues". i probably will never do any of those things, but i appreciated the suggestions.

talking to strangers used to mortify me. well, my dad talking to strangers would. sometimes it still makes me cringe when he does, but it's pretty cute...and it helped instill a basic understanding of polite conversation...something i unfortunately think is expired with the youth of today. but don't get me started on that.

speaking of talking to strangers, the thought of running into almost anyone from highschool while home for the holiday gives me absolute shivers up and down my spine. to celebrate certain impending doom, i decided to look at fellow classmates linkedin pages. i'm telling you now...if you ever want a good giggle...do that. do that now. i just couldn't get enough of the headshots, and resume-like info.

i started following a thing called "tiny house blog" and i am truly obsessed with the idea of making a tiny little house and living off the grid. mostly so i can subscribe to the lifestyle free of going to the doctor and driving cars...uh, but...um, mostly to be environmentally responsible! and those tiny little houses are so dang cute! little things are so cute!

my mom used to always pack my lunch full of mini things and i'd get so annoyed! mini pops, mini yogurts, mini, mini, mini. looking back, i wish i could have appreciated the cuteness of those mini products more. moms are always right when it comes to cute.

macaroni day

today i made cinnamon bun pancakes and danced like a hip hop ballerina in anticipation for their entry into my mouth. they got a standing ovation...and a quick run to the stove to make another batch and shove them down my grateful pie hole.

speaking of food, today was a macaroni day. these are the days that are gloomy and tired. where you have a headache or don't want to do any work. you want to eat macaroni and cheese and watch mister rogers. today was a macaroni day, but i didn't eat any macaroni.

instead i listened to voice mails over 2 months old, did laundry only to put it back on my floor and watch an episode of sister wives. when i found myself crying an embarassing amount during the homebirth of one of the sister wive's child, i realized my macaroni day had gone awol.

tonight, i met myself as a high schooler. it wasn't really me, but she reminded me of myself. it was both frightening and beautiful at the same time. within minutes of meeting, she was preforming a song from les mis, talking about peeing on an animal carcuss and stopping mid-sentance to dance to her "jam" (in case you were wondering, the song was wake me up, by avacci.) I really liked her, but also felt like calling my mom and saying "sorry".

i could spend a lot of time imagining what my future children could be like. a lot depends on my Y chromosome, but i'm pretty sure the child will be wild, naked and have stringy hair that doesn't get combed often. i hope they have a inch worm circus like me and take toads for walks on shoe strings...but i also hope they don't spend hours and hours talking to themselves and staying up crying about going to heaven. as long as they're dressed in the finest children's clothing, popular and are the best in their sports teams, i guess it doesn't matter.