the (8th grade) boyz (girls) next door (in fox valley christian academy's multi-purpose room)

my 8th grade drama class put on the production of "the boys next door".

you should be falling out of your seat laughing right now. if not, you don't know what the play is about.

alright, i'll tell you. it's about mentally handicaped men who live in a halfway house. in itself is not funny. but when you imagine ten, 13 year old girls playing the male leads...it becomes a whole new mockery.

i really do not understand how we were allowed to put this show on. annie, oliver, our town...all much more suitable for amateur 8th graders. we never even made our way through rehearsing the 2nd act. i remember standing backstage after intermission and wondering out loud "what happens next?". somehow, our lack of memorization carried through to spellbinding performances.

my grandmother, wo never compliments me, raved to all her friends about how good i was in my role. i played norman bulanksy. "a middle-aged retarded man who works at a doughnut shop. The doughnuts at his job have caused him to become overweight. He has a girlfriend, Sheila, a woman from another group home. He is very proud and possessive of a large ring of keys."

thanks grandma! type cast, i'm sure.

all this to say, i'm thinking about auditioning for a community theater performance. i know when the director sees i played the difficult role of norman, i'll be a shoe-in for whoever the most complex character is. crossing my fingers it can be a woman.

love suckz

i have a confession. a horrible one. one that puts me at jeopardy of loosing all my friends and secret blog admirers.

i watch the vampire diaries.

i promise,it started as a joke. my co-worker lent me the dvds in an attempt to win me over to her side. i mocked my way through the first 3 episodes. by the 4th, i found my self engrossed in the bloodsucking, unrealistic, overly dramatic, moderately poorly acted high school melodrama..

curse you, co-worker. you've created me to be the person i enjoy to ridicule.

i know i'm lame while i'm watching. i know i'm lame while i google "are vampires real?" i just can't stop being lame. it's a choice i am learning to live with. it's who i am now. i was born this way.

sexy santa greetings

right now there is an amazing promotion at a local jewelry dealer: buy an engagement ring--get a gun. you can put a whole new spin on "shotgun wedding"! bet those hicks are hittin' up the bee hive over on '76 lookin for anything with a tail feather so dey can get dat gun.

i walked in on my dad going to the bathroom a couple nights ago. it was horrible. it reminded me of the time he walked in on me after i had passed out naked in the same bathroom. i regained consciousness soon enough to warn him "no dad! you'll see my butt". didn't stop him. he was concerned for my safety.

speaking of my dad and nakedness, one of my favorite stories involves him, a homemade hot tub, below zero temperatures, and locking himself out of our house. and nakedness. the greatest story ever told (sorry jesus!).

my dad is the most interesting person i know. you would be lucky to meet him. he's wise, intelligent, awkward and very caring-- for his family and strangers alike. one time he picked up a homeless appleton man and took him and 10 year old me to BJ Clancey's. he asked clint what he needed--clint said prayer that he would get his life together. naturally, chuck asked me to pray for clint. "dear god, please help clint get his life together" has and always will be one of my best prayers.

the man who was sexually harassing me at work got fired. now what will i write about?

maybe i can write about my dad some more.

chuck has always had a heart for people in need. while visiting my sister and i in sandiego for christmas, he would wander the streets early in the morning, buying people coffees and making friends. he was very excited to find that there was a volunteer run school for homeless children right behind our house. he stopped in, got all the info he could and began planning how my sister and i could help.

burning with the fires of service, he discovered another unmarked building just across the street. with his keen eye, he noticed some seemingly homeless men venturing into it often. he was certain it was some sort of halfway house. he told us multiple times we should stop in and see if there was anything we could help with. we didn't know what it was, so we didn't go in. but chuck... chuck was determined to uncover another service opportunity.

a few days later he returned from his early morning expedition. "well girls, i dont want you goin' into that building". chuck had apparently ventured in and was greeted by two men behind safety glass decorated with sexy santas. chuck began to put some dots together and began slowly backing out. not wanting to be rude, he made sure to ask "this isn't a homeless shelter, is it?" to which the muscular and friendly man behind the counter replied "no sir, this is a gentleman's bathhouse".

we couldn't help but google the "vulcan" and we couldn't help but giggle, thinking of poor old chas and the google reviews everytime we walked by.