i like dogs and chili

i got a big tip and a wink today, but could only keep the wink because my apron isn't monogrammed yet. as long as i have a pin with my name on it, i can't keep those dollar bills. i should give the wink to my sister. she can't wink.

i'm serious. deanna can't wink! it's bizarre and unnerving. of all my talents, i might value winking the highest. just a bat of some eyelashes and you can communicate so many things--flirtation, admiration, but mostly creepiness.  what a shame that such an accomplished young lady can't close one eye at a time. luckily for her her sister is the secretary of hugs, kisses and winks, too.

i feel my sister dee doesn't get much screen time here. i have pleanty of stories, i just fear i might tarnish her future in public law. oh well, i've waited long enough and now it's time to dish.

dee is wonderful. she's cute and has more clothes than your average girl...but she mostly gets them by swindling her local consignment shop.

dee has a long history with creepy guys. maybe that's why we relate so well.

the first time i fainted, dee was there to comfort and console me. sarah was in the garden.

dee has been present in many of my most bizarre experiences. i'm glad she has been because when people accuse me of making things up, i can put her on speakerphone and have my name cleared. she would never lie. she's going to be a lawyer.

one time in our mid twenties dee and i cowered in the back of a tent because a girl was mad at us for not eating her chili-dogs. sorry, not sorry. i like dogs and i like chili, but only patrons of foodbourn illnesses go for the combo.

that same night dee would politely ask to put her cold hands on my tummy to warm them up. my above average body temp was the least i could do for the girl who has come to my rescue many times.

one time dee and i spent the entire 5 hour trip from our college to home prank calling people with an Indian accent. we also spent a whole summer working at a school supply factory. I fainted, due to heat, but dee was my number one supporter as i fought for workers rights and left a frightening complaint in the "comments" box. one week later, each station had a fan.

i haven't really told any embarrassing stories yet, but that just means i'm saving them for later. we'll call this an appetizer...or perhaps an h'orderve if you wanna get real fansay like.

have you ever seen anything grosser than a fancy feast commercial? it's like the feline version of a chili dog.