such a big imagination on such a little pup

i choreographed a dance to beyonce's "love on top". i'll teach it to you, but you can only dance it while siting in your car...and mostly while you sit at stop signs, lights or make unnecessary pauses in the middle of the road to hit the arrow button back to the start. above everything else, you must have that sasha fierce attitude. check, check, check, check, check! someone write me a check for my sexy performance.

i wrote that and i laughed, but i'm almost sure that it isn't funny. sometimes i'm concerned that what happens in my brain does not connect with the masses. sometimes i'm not funny.

a regular customer came through the drive through. the girl on the headseat wanted to say something funny, but didn't know what to say. she told the guy that and he said to think of something for when he got up there. they all voted me to say something cause "you're funny, sonia". i walked up to the window and said "i have a wooden leg". i hope that proves my point.

i'm a criminal.

in high school, i wasn't allowed to leave for lunch because i failed my math class. i spent hours on the computer crafting a fake release card. when i got caught, i was too scared to show it and i got a detention. well, i got twelve detentions, but cried my way down to one. that fake id sat in my backpack, haunting me for years. in college i wasn't allowed to have my car on campus. i was upset about this, so i remember my youth's folly and once again, crafted a forged packing permit. my car sat happily without being ticketed or towed my entire junior year. take that systems!

it's really funny that i did those things because i thought i hated breaking the rules. i wait for the pedistrian crossings, follow the speed limit and put my trash in the designated bins. on the other hand, i do make photo copies of books from the library so i don't have to buy them, steal people's wifi and eat expired food...jeykll and hyde, baby. jekyll and hyde.

one of my favorite episodes of wishbone was jekyll and hyde. if you don't know what wishbone is, you are dumb, stupid and i feel sorry for you. take my advice and look it up on youtube. when you find a tiny dog acting out scenes from literary masterpieces, you've found the right clips. these things make me laugh more than almost anything else. i mean, c'mon! a little dog acting out the story of cyrano de begerac? funnier than wooden legs!