there must be more than this provincial life

i like beards. so what? the thing is, liking beards in the midwest is like...liking pollution and hot weather in the PNW. it's just different here.

my friends love me despite my "weird lifestyle choices"and are trying to help me quench my thirst for facial hair.

"sonia! i just saw your dream man--he had a beard AND was driving a mini van."

"sonia! there is a boy i want you to meet. you don't have to be attracted to him, but he has a beard, and i know you like those."

"sonia! there is this boy i know...only thing is, he might not be able to grow a beard. are you ok with that?"

"sonia! i met a man downstairs. i think his son is with him. he has a beard...you should go talk to him."

it sounds like i have a problem, doesn't it? maybe it's my friends who have the problem. or maybe it's guys problem. i mean, it's their fault for being magically able to grow beautiful, luscious HAIR ON THEIR FACE LIKE A MYSTICAL WOODLAND CREATURE!!!!  i hate guys! i love beards!

let's go deeper.

when i really think about it, i think it must be because i am compared to a boy a lot. i think god tried to help me by giving me a bountiful bosom, so as not to confuse the male gender...but sometimes people are stupid. what i am trying to say is (mostly) only boys can grow beards and since i can't that must mean i am a girl and that must mean that i am not la fou from beauty and the beast, and even if i am not belle, i am most likely a pleasant townsperson just trying to get on with her day and buy a loaf of bread.

aren't disney movies great for life analogies? that one was a stretch...but you get the point. i will keep making jokes about beards until i get one. well, not on my own face. preferably on someone elses...but i could also make due with one in a decorative box...next to my precious moments figurines and tiny shot glasses from all my travels.