not nice lady

writing so many blogs in such a short amount of time must mean one thing. unemployment. my dad giving me a book about blogging means i should stop.

i looked for jobs all day. by jobs i mean husbands. by look i mean browsed match.com

im kidding. of course i am.

i wish i was kidding when i tell you minnesota lice lady is hiring. she tricked me by saying it was a "fun" and "unique" work environment. hey lady, i've had lice. nothing about stuffing your stuffed animals into garbage bags and your mother combing your hair with chemicals and a stainless steel comb is fun. a unique childhood memory, maybe...but not fun.

i've had a lot of jobs. of course i'd like to have stability, money and health insurance. but when it comes down to it, i would have rather had a lot of jobs than a lot of boyfriends.

the great thing about all my work experience is that i keep gaining skills to make me a great mother. i can clean potties in 30 seconds flat. vomit, poop and other bodily fluids don't stand a chance against me. i can make beautiful bows on presents and fold a fitted sheet like a pro. commanding the attention of 35 high schoolers and making them do what i say is as easy as 1 2 3. i know what herbal remedies can help with colds and know the right temperature to heat milk for a baby. i'm still trying to figure out what my stint as a collating machine operator and ice cream vendor have taught me, but i'm sure it will become more clear as i mature. moms do a lot, you know.

i really hope i get to be a mom. i can't wait to dress my kids up like albert einstein and have them "walk on my back"(give me a back rub).   if i dont have kids though, it'll be ok. i hear the mn lice lady is hiring.