skuttlebutt

i just finished a super secret wine and cheese party. the guest list was short, only one attendee...but she was VIP, for sure.

in this strange time of life i've been trying to fill my solitude with things i highly enjoy. things i forget to do when the worlds agenda takes priority. i finally bought a new record player to listen to all my records that have been waiting patiently for a spin for the past 3 years. buying bottles of wine for pure pleasure, rather than a party or gift. getting fancy cheeses and olives because i feel like it. buying hardcover books. reading a lot. basically, yes, i am a middle aged woman who enjoys listening to NPR and watching the create channel. no wonder the men who are interested happen to be in that category as well. im not complaining. i like older men. they're together for the most part, appreciate the things i do, plus they don't think i'm a complete weirdo. the only boy i've ever met who wasn't 40 but still had the same qualities is adam kraus. he doesn't count though. he's like a sister to me.

im happy to report my toe numbness has subsided. chas cured me with a father-daughter foot rub. unfortunately a vein issue has returned. i guess i also have a thing for middle aged ailments too.

im ready for an adventure. i hope its not one that requires me to move across the country twice in 6 months, but i guess i'll take that if it presents itself. i love change and movement. i love new people and new places. i love music and food and vhs tapes and boys who shower sparingly. i love spicy food and funny books. i love making lists of things i like because its much better for me than thinking about all the things i hate. except for shots. i hate shots. so so much.

i like reading things i forgot i wrote...like this:

nothing makes a woman feel sexier than waking up to a pimple-like rash covering her face. on second thought, nothing makes a woman feel sexier than slathering cortizone cream all over her face due to a pimple-like rash. man, i feel so sexy today. i take everything back. the sexiest i have ever felt is when my 11th grade gym teacher told me i had more testosterone than the average woman. good one, gym teacher. good one. sexy is not really a term i would associate myself with. not only because i am a testosterone filled, rash prone person, but because the word itself makes me uncomfortable. to be honest, i'm pretty sure i thought it was a bad word up until i was 17. i can bet 10 bucks i never said it, along with the word pregnant, unless it was part of a classroom reading.

i remember that rash day...s. word spread around work "oh, i heard someone had a rash!" "man! it's worse than she said". I guess i'd rather be the focus of work place scuttlebutt because of a rash rather than a inappropriate break room liaison. there is still time to change my mind. i've never had a workplace liaison.

i've only had one boyfriend. i've only kissed one boy. well, 3...but a half-assed game of 25 year old spin the bottle and kisses equal to foreign greetings don't really count. or do they? i'm saying no, but you're welcome to challenge me.

2 boys tried to kiss me in high school. who in their right mind would let a high school boy kiss them? they most likely had braces and little pieces of cheetos stuck up in there. no thank you. even when i was 16, i thought 16 year olds were dumb. or maybe i thought they were gross. hard to tell. my hygiene was better then. higher standards, no doubt.

i never liked no doubt. my go to girl was always alanis. fiona too, but you know alanis would never let a high school boy kiss her either. she did let uncle joey though. maybe i need to reconsider my go to girl.