timez r hard 4 dreamerz

i haven't had sugar in 10 days. perhaps, an accomplishment many could boast, but almost unthinkable for this lover off all things refined and syrup'd. my ideal meal would be heapings of fresh fruits and vegetables, followed by a jug of dew and 15 pounds of gummies from the candy aisle of cub foods.

the first three days i was a monster. i swear my eyes were green. i found some caramel corn in our pantry and put a piece in my mouth "to remember what sugar tasted like" and in a rage spit it into the garbage, screamed, tore my clothes and beat my breast. what is pushing me on? lack of dental insurance and a cavity prone mouth. dr. joe, this one is for you!

last night was purely torture as i helped reprice all the candies at VandeWalles. i made it without licking or smelling anything. PROGRESS. YES WE CAN.

the weather is hurting my feelings. i crave sunshine and bugs. warm days and camping adventures. the ability to go days with unkempt hair and soccer shorts while eating everything good and beautiful from tinfoil tents put in the fire pit.

thinking of camping made me think of the single most terrifying moment of my life. it happened in yellowstone national park. driving up a windy road high above the tree tops, greeted by a SUV on one side and a raging buffalo running straight towards me. i let words out of my mouth i never thought i would. in front of my mother. i apologized immediately and i knew it was ok when she said "i think it was situation appropriate." thanks annie.

i'm moving to montana.

me and my dog soul-gazed today. while laying in my parents bed.

i'm not actually moving to montana, although i wish i was. if i had a friend there i would take advantage of their hospitality and live on their couch until i got an hourly job at some restaurant named "the fry'n pan" or something of unfortunate similarity.

a girl can dream.