lastborn tween

i blame my mild attraction to snape on alan rickmans fantastic portrayal of col. brandon in the ang lee directed "sense and sensibility". even with the black middle part, i cant help but wonder what sort of thrills i would experience with his sexy bubbled snarl ringing in my ear. i'll never know for sure, but my quest to knowledge has always involved watching S&S at least 5 times a year.

im a major tween these days. my parents picked me up from work, i ran to buy the latest tween book and i saw harry potter twice. i do adult things like pay bills and drink wine in between, but there is no denying the heavy adolescent undertones in my day to day life. must be a last born thing. i blame everything on my birth-order.

i used to be obsessed with the birth-order phenomonon. i still am fulling supportive to the theory. im mostly interested in which orders marry the others. any first borns looking for a little attention seeking, checkered academic career holding, affectionate, fun loving and irresponsible last born partner? i'm sure it sounds perfect, but i admit to some flaws.

sometimes i cry myself to sleep. sometimes it's because of my tween book and other times its because i feel completely overwhelmed from feelings of underwhelming. i wonder how some people have such a clear definition of who they are and what they should do when they are only 20 something...while other last born like me feel disoriented and disconnected to everything that is a "should be". these feelings are always solved with a bag of kettle chips. and hours of introspection, meditation, mediation, prayer, reflection and intersession. and tween books.

its so hot that my face is melting off. im not talking about a makeup face, but my actual face. my nose is somewhere between michael jackson and lord voldemort. with that final tween reference, ive outstayed my welcome on my own blog. goodnight.