natural casing wieners

ABC wanted to compete with college basketball, so they played a movie that every demographic would enjoy. Norbit, obviously. i'd liked to check out the neilsen ratings for tonight! i would bet the fee for withdrawing my 401k early that more the viewing audience tonight + the number of people who actually saw it less than 401

super moon was tonight. i texted five people and one responded. im sure the other five were busy looking at the moon that didn't really look that different.

i got a "call back" today for an interview i had yesterday. it was exactly the same as yesterday except i had sweatier pits. (i'll blame it on the mildly attractive middle age man.)

have you ever listened to a cd and felt like every song was written because someone secretly drugged you and did futuristic tests that could determine what you feel and think? adele's 21 is that for me. i've never been so tempted to make a copy and send it to "someone special"... but that would go against everything i believe in and support everything i've made fun of for the past 10 years.

i've been doing really poorly at making fun of people lately. maybe i'm becoming nicer or maybe i've been sick and shut inside my house for the past 2 weeks.

tonight my dad made us beer brats. the beer was found under a park bench in lutz park in appleton. an old let them know they could take them because they had been there "for a few days". they were one step up from the hot dogs chuck made a few days ago. i was concerned they were the "gross, slippery kind...possibly made from actual dogs" but he scoffed and proudly whipped out the package. "i got da natural casing wieners"...as if that made them sound any more appetising. i still ate them...i'm into natural things.

a short survey

the raised red spots on my hands and arms are:

a. spider or bug bites

2. an allergic reaction to the medicine i am "borrowing" from my cousin

my future is in your hands.

1/2 off your pedicure

i do not condone sharing perscription medication of any kind ever, but thanks cousin cali for the anti-biotics. (i gave up my birkinstocks for sexy pointy shoes now).

feeling moderately better and ready to take on the world of part time employment.

i used to hate when i'd bump into someone and they ask me "what do you do". i'd always give an awkward pause while i considered telling them what i actually really do (baths, take naps with dogs, think about what kind of job i want) or some sort of professional excuse.

until about a month ago i was embarrassed by my lack of employment. now i am thankful. (warning this next sentence is going to be serious.) Because of my "unfortunate situation (s) " i have had life changing and powerful self-reflection, introspection and personal healing. (serious part is over now.) i might be poor and lacking some sort of business suit status, but i know i have all the important things. the most important being my john denver and the muppets christmas album.

am i getting smarter or is jeopardy getting easier? and have you watched college week? more like weak week! where do i sign up? i'll just slip into my boxy bethel sweatshirt and sneak my way to being a thousandaire.

while we're talking about thousands, PTL my tax refund came. i was starting to collect all my gift cards in hopes the student loan gods would accept them as a sacrifice, as i dont have a baby lamb or first born son. good thing i didn't have to...i NEED the logo sweatshirt from aeropostatle.

i just took off my toenail polish from my birthday. 12/31. those ladies did a real good job. i should have known they were legit when they offered the man with one leg 1/2 off a pedicure. (that is a true story).

i have a pocket of fluid behind my eye

i don't remember the last time i was this sick.

if i could go to the doctor, i would. that is how serious i am.

since i can't, i will do my best to help keep at least 6 homeopathic companies in business. (homeopathic=what people who don't have health insurance use). Between my sinus rinses, medicinal herbal teas and zinc therapy tabs I am looking online for birkinstock clogs and parting my hair down the middle while wearing earth friendly and i'll fitting bamboo clothing.

i have lost my appetite. this is the worst thing of all. i saw a sour gummy worm, lovingly touched it for a fleeting moment and then shuddered at the thought of chewing it.

i've taken a couple baths and while i layed completely stretched out it finally set in that i really haven't grown at all since 5th grade. downside: i'm the height of a 5th grader. upside: my baths are very comfortable. you decide the winner.

speaking of winning, charlie sheen.

i actually have no clue why those two things go together but according to every facebook status update and media news report, they do.

and while i'm on the subject of charlie could we please ask where the heck is emilo estavez? if we're talking winning it's him, not his brother we should be talking about. did you see the mighty ducks movies? i think riding the coattails of his brothers destruction could be a great career move for him. MD4!

my dog just stole all my snotty keenex and had an afternoon snack. i asked my dad why he did that. "cause of the salty flavor" was the mater of fact answer. i finally understand why that boy in 2nd grade rolled his boogers and ate them. sorry to judge. i prefer sweets.

loosing.

guess who's back? back again.

Sonia's back, tell a friend.

Seriously, tell a friend. I need a couple more.

I'm not trying to slam my cool parent friends, but there is something special about interacting with people your own age once and again. Until then, you'll find me listening to my dad read his bird book aloud and helping my mom work the printer.

If you are smart you took that last sentence and figured out I live at home. I'm not ashamed. I'm 25.

Slight delusions have begun with me and my dog. When he falls asleep in my lap I start braiding his hair and calling him my beautiful princess. I hope he can't hear me.

Watching women's college basketball (gross, i know) makes me revisit my glory dayz at Fox Valley Christian Academy. My favorite memory being when my calves started seizing and I had to be taken onto the carpeted stage and stretched in front of everyone. My second favorite memory being that one time we won a game.

I've been sick as a dog for the past week. My mother and I shared some dessert together and she infected me with her virus. We wear matching terry-cloth bathrobes and shower only sparingly (so, that part isn't so different). It hasn't been so bad except for the part where I can't breath normally without the aide of a humidifier. Now I just need to go back in time and have 7 year old Dee rub vap-o-rub on my pre-pubescent chest.

This typing has exhausted me. Don't worry, I'll be back to publicly share my life with you. Unless I get more friends.

cookiez 'n cream

The other day I unclogged my first toilet ever. It was not my own doing, but rather the doing of some anonymous middle school boy. I gleefully dubbed the pot's contents "cookiez 'n cream". I have not been able to get the image out of my head, even after the newer image of "the turd trail" (which had to be chisled off the floor with a plastic knife). What I am getting at is that my tummy hurts real bad and I am scared I might create a new mental image any moment to add to my collection of classics. TMI? FYI? FYE.

the best thing about being sick is the unhealthy amounts of Friday Night Lights I can watch without shame. Ok, there is a little shame involved...but it's mostly due the the fact that I am in love with Tim Riggins...the smoldering bad boy of the dillon pathers, who coincidentally iphoto recognition mistook for "sonia malmquist" on Megon O's computer. Wait...that's not shame. That is narcissism.

Did I ever tell you I work at a camp located in a canyon in the middle of nowhere? Sorry, wait, I havn't told you...I've been reminding myself 23947394 times a day as I find myself in odd situations (eg: the turd trail) and interacting with odd people. For the most part, I like it...but for the least part, it is the weirdest thing I have ever experienced in my entire life.

prepare yourself

...the return of the Sonj